Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
