Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
