love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
