dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
