My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
