Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
