Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
