Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
