Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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