I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
