hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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