Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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