Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize