Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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