I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
what day is it and did you see me today?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
