see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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