her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
