Moan for me like Helen Keller
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
