I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
