I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
