could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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