My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
