all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
