Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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