Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i've created a new STD.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
