all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
