I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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