My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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