You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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