i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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