His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
