True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
