and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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