yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
