Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
