Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
