YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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