Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
