For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
