this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
