winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
