I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
