I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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