I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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