I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
