belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize