i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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