I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
