so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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