Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
