Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
