Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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