omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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