question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
