I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Even my vagina gasped.
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3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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