I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
