that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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